Day 801: Deep Breath

When Peter Capaldi was announced as the Doctor, you could feel a wave of excitement dash through the Doctor Who fan community. Everyone looked at him as someone new and exciting, an older Doctor to complement the two younger Doctors that had most recently taken on the role. And I was initially excited to see him as the Doctor. But then, as I got more and more used to the idea of him playing the role, I got a bit worried about whether I would even like him; whether I would come to accept his face as the Doctor. Whilst everyone else jumped up in the air at the idea of the Doctor as a serious figure, one who wasn't sure whether he was even a good man or not, I quietly sat back and waited to see what would happen with this new man in the role.

At least I'd still have Steven Moffat's writing to look forward to, which has been rejuvenated by the prospect of a new Doctor. We've now entered the next, and probably final phase, of the Moffat era of Doctor Who, which I'd call the Capaldi era. It's not quite as focussed on the magic of the concept of Doctor Who, nor on the idea of showing the spectacle of travelling through time and space. Instead, we get a story that's more focussed on character interaction and character study. Indeed, one of the most exciting scenes in the episode isn't the final battle between the Paternoster Gang and the clockwork droids, it's a conversation between Clara and Madame Vastra. In it, Vastra helps Clara come to terms with the Doctor's regeneration by deliberately riling her up, taking Clara's insecurities about this new Doctor and supposing that it might be because he isn't a pretty young man. It sends Clara into a rage that helps her come to terms with the regeneration and realise that she's being unfair to the new Doctor. And it's all symbolised by Vastra's veil, which she uses to hide her lizard visage from those that only want to see a mask and not her own true self. While at the start of the scene, Vastra wears it, it is gone by the end, signifying that Clara is ready to see the Doctor for what he is, which is reflected in her further conversations with him which are far more focussed on how to solve the ongoing problem, as well as how to react with this new Doctor.

And as Clara has to get used to this new Doctor, I've got to get used to him as well. I will admit, I warmed to him over the course of the episode. I wasn't too sure about the new found anger for the twelfth Doctor, but I loved that he kept his keen mind, most obviously seen in the restaurant scene as he deduces that they are surrounded by robots. And so, at around two-thirds of the way through the episode, I was ready to accept him as the Doctor. Unfortunately, at that exact moment, he abandoned Clara to a collection of robots in favour of his own safety. My belief in the Doctor was ruined, I was utterly distraught. How could this man do this? He's been my hero for around ten years, and here he is, doing such a callous act. And as Clara was interrogated by the Half-Face Man who led the robots, I was utterly convinced that the Doctor wouldn't be there to save her, and that it would all end badly.

But then, as Clara was questioned, she put her hand out behind her so that the Doctor could grab it and she would know that he would be there. And an unfamiliar hand belonging to an unfamiliar face grabbed it, sending me into a wave of shock - a further example of how I may never be able to trust this Doctor. And what felt like an eternity later, but in reality only half a second, that unfamiliar man pulled off the disguise that he was using, revealing the Doctor. Not Peter Capaldi playing the Doctor, this man was the Doctor. A hero that's always there, protecting you, even when you're afraid and at your most vulnerable. Sure, he might go about it in an interesting way, and he might not be the most polite to you in doing so, but he will always be there for you when you most need it.

And, from that moment on, I always accepted Peter Capaldi as the Doctor. Even when he possibly killed the Half-Face Man, and throughout the rest of the series as he contemplated whether he was a good man, I always knew that he was. Because he is the Doctor, and I'm sorry that I ever doubted him.